Saturday, April 20, 2013

4/20 Day: Pot Zombies

The only way to enjoy this is to be baked.  There's not a lot of pot jokes left, honestly, after I've done so many.  Seriously, let's break it down: My early look at Pot films, Alice in Acidland, Evil Bong, Evil Bong 2, Bong of the Dead and Meat Weed America.  I've got to be done with this, right?  Don't you look at me, Evil Bong 3- I'll review you if Netflix ever carries you.  On the plus side, the Director of Meet Weed America didn't mind me mocking his film, so we're all good.  So what do you need to know about Pot Zombies?  Troma- that is all.  Yeah, this is a Troma release, courtesy of their YouTube page.  It's not just for Project Terrible anymore.  This movie is about people who smoke Pot and turn into Zombies.  Do I need to say any more?  No, I don't think so.  Just read on...
A bunch of Hunters smoke Pot and go out to shoot animals.  That sounds like a bad idea.

The least dangerous thing that could happen does happen: they turn into Zombies and eat people.
It's bad when a film reminds you of Birdemic.  In this case, they have shitty sound Editing (with drop-in and drop-out background noise) and a pointless News Anchor who is an insult to any AV Department.  They're just one Getty Images logo shy of the prize.
The Pot Zombies have glowing eyes courtesy of shitty CG effects.  I won't judge for having little money...but you did this in the worst way possible.  Just give them contact lenses, for crying out loud!
At this point, I should say this: there is no overall plot.  This is just a series of scenes involving people smoking Pot, becoming Zombies and eating people.

As such, let's focus on the silly.  For example: this CG Police Siren.  You couldn't afford a second-hand Cop Car, guys?
 Lloyd Kauffman is here as a mentally-handicapped Pizza Delivery Boy/Middle-Aged Man.  It's funny because...what's the joke again?  Oh, he talks 'funny.'  Ha.
 More Pot Zombies.  More bad special effects.  More apathy.
In closing, Pot Zombies is so bad that THIS couldn't even hold my interest.  The End.
Pot.  That's apparently a joke in and of itself, apparently.  In all seriousness, this film is really, really not for me.  If you're baked out of your gourd, you'll probably laugh at stuff like the Pot Zombie pulling a Donut out of a dead Cop's stomach.  You'll probably think that the Pot Zombie punching a Teacher's heart out is cool. You'll even think that the Music isn't the only decent thing about it.  It's not great music, but the mix of Rockabilly Guitar and Thrash Metal did help me ignore the horrible comedy.  Again- I don't judge people for trying to make their own film, regardless of how much money they have.  What I do judge is a film full of incoherent scenes of Pot Zombies, no real plot and a feeling of very little thought being put into it.  Is it a rule that every wannabe filmmaker with no money has to do Zombie Films?  If so, they're probably going to turn out better than this one.  It's important to remember just how many people it took to write this non-story...
Next up, I'm going to review my final Project Terrible film (for real).  It's two times the bad Acting, Richard Lynch and...the Director of Cannibal Holocaust?  Stay tuned...

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